The Danger in Comparing

Not long into the start of our career as full-time photographers, we ran into a big problem. In hindsight, we actually didn’t run into it. It wasn’t as if it were a glass wall we ran into that we couldn’t see coming. It was something that was there all along, we just happened to finally see it. And when we saw it, we realized just how big of an issue it was, and how massive it could become if it wasn’t dealt with promptly.

As creatives, we live in a happy magical place called photography land. It’s full of dreamy ‘swoon-worthy’ images from every amazing photographer’s highlight reel. It’s the stuff that makes Instagram work and keeps us all believing that fairytales really do come true! We love seeing the gorgeous work that our friends and others in the industry are creating! And since we are all creatives, sharing our products – the images we make – comes naturally.

It was scrolling through the Instagram feed when we found it. The problem that is. You see, the danger of having so many beautiful images shared on a continual basis is that it can easily make you start to question your own work.

It can raise doubts.

It can surface insecurities.

Has this ever happened to you? You just finished an amazing engagement session with Ken and Barbie dressed in designer clothes. Golden hour produced the most soft and glowy light you’d ever seen in your life, and the desert sunset was jaw dropping. Barbie even brought her adorable and perfect Yorkie puppy and… wait for it … they had matching flower crowns! You left the session feeling like you absolutely crushed it! You couldn’t wait to get home to cull and process the images and post one to your feed. Once you finally exported the images, you carefully crafted your content and posted it for the world to see. Beaming. Excited. Proud.

That’s when you see a photo from another photographer. They posted an absolutely stunning image. You suddenly feel different. You’re no longer beaming or excited, and you start to feel insecure.

Sound familiar?

Even if you aren’t a photographer, this applies to any industry. Were you excited about the sale you just closed? Did your business just reach a milestone you had been working hard towards for months? Did you finally get that degree you’d been studying for? Then you see someone else’s achievement and suddenly yours doesn’t seem so great anymore.

When we saw this coming out of ourselves, we knew we had a problem. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” He couldn’t have been anymore spot on. That sinking feeling as your accomplishment begins feeling inadequate – that’s the thief of comparison stealing all of your joy. It’s toxic, yet so easy to fall into.

We set out to create a successful business. Our dream was twofold. First, we wanted to be able to positively impact the lives of everyone we worked with. We want people to leave feeling better than when they arrived. We want to make our clients feel confident and joyful with everything we do. Second, we set out to create a successful business that allowed us to enjoy the freedom and lifestyle of working for ourselves and providing for our family.

Knowing we wanted to be successful, we knew we couldn’t continue to live and judge our successes according to other’s. Successful people never worry about what others are doing. Successful people worry about what they themselves are doing. That’s it.

As new entrepreneurs it’s been easy to look at those who have gone before us and compare where we are today with where they are at. But then we came across a quote that has stuck with us.

“Don’t compare your chapter 1 to their chapter 20”

There is serious freedom in that.

If we can be honest, we still aren’t perfect at it. It’s takes a daily reminder to adjust our perspective. It takes intentionally recognizing that what you see on social media is the highlight reel. And that anyone you look up to or aspire to be like started just like you – at chapter one.

The first step is to simply recognize it. To identify it and call it out. To determine not to let comparing be the thing to steal your joy any longer.

Next, it takes challenging yourself, just as we are, to filter that feeling through a new lens. To stop and check yourself when it starts to creep in. To intentionally remind yourself that you are you and that your wins are something to be so proud of.

We know this for sure – there is no level of skill, accomplishment, or prestige that will kill it. Ask anyone you know that’s in their chapter 20, and we’ll guarantee you that if they wanted to, they could minimize their own accomplishments in the light of someone else’s.

It’s all about perspective, and realizing that true joy is found in contentment.

Remember this – “He who is not content with what he has, would not be content with what he would like to have.” – Socrates