It all started when you were two. We had just been given the worst news we had ever received – your future little brother or sister did not look healthy. Things appeared to be abnormal and our excitement about you becoming a big brother was crushed in one doctor’s visit. I did my best to hide my sadness because I wanted to be strong for you. But you knew. You saw it in your dad and I. When I couldn’t hold them back, you saw my tears. You heard our prayers every day and every night.
You were taking a shower in our bathroom in our old shower with the tall glass walls. I was letting you play for a little bit (because playing in the shower has ALWAYS been one of your favorite things) while I cleaned the bathroom. I had my back turned to you while I was cleaning and there they came. A flood of emotions took over and I started crying. I let myself cry for a minute because you were distracted by playing and that’s when I heard it. Your sweet little voice started praying/singing, “Jesus, mommmmmy. Jesus, babyyyy.”
You knew I was hurting. You knew I was sad, and even more importantly, you knew your baby brother or sister needed prayers. Jesus decided to take that sweet baby home with Him, but your prayers that afternoon brought me comfort that helped me in all the days that followed – from the process of miscarrying all the way up until God gave us Paislee.
Two years ago, I got a phone call from Nana that made me very sad. She called to tell me that my Aunt Mary had passed away. I loved Aunt Mary. She always let me and your Aunt Jess watch Mrs. Doubtfire and taught me how to play Chicken Foot with Dominoes. I loved visiting her in Prescott when I was a little girl growing up.
I remember it was raining outside (not a big surprise since we were still living in Washington) and you were home from school. I went and sat down on the bench at the kitchen table look out the window and turn my face so you and Paislee didn’t have to see me cry. You heard my sniffs and crying voice and walked over to ask, “Are you okay?” I shook my head and then off you ran. You were just learning to write and found a random piece of paper. You tore off a tiny corner piece, found a pencil and wrote an “I’, drew the cutest heart shape I have ever seen, and ended it with a “U.” You walked over to me as I was staring out the window and slowly slid it over to me. I looked down and cried even more. Your big hug and thoughtful note meant the world to me and comforted me so much in that moment. I still have that little piece of paper in my room and smile every time I see it because it reminds me of the sweet boy God gave your dad and I.
And you know how dad likes to pretend? Well remember how at our very last softball game he pretended he was a MLB player and slid into third base… in shorts? It looked cool. He appeared to have the technique down even though that was the very first time he ever slid! He ran in a point right after that, but he walked away with the most intense road rash I’ve ever seen. He tore up the side of his leg, down the muscle tissue and let’s be honest, the slide wasn’t worth it. Next year he will wear pants, but it was bad. He had pain just walking on it and I know you can remember exactly how those few days were for him.
One night while we were sitting down trying to figure out what to do as it was getting worse, you stood up from the living room, called Paislee with you, ran to the front room for plain white paper, and closed you and Pais in your room. I knew exactly what you set off to do. Not only did you write dad a note that said “Dad, I am sree dat your leg rtss” and draw a picture of you given him a hug, but you led your sister and helped her write dad a card too.
Bud, I LOVE your heart. We have notes hanging all around our house that prove just how loving and thoughtful you are. I never knew I would love having a boy so dang much! I never knew the world of boys. I didn’t have a brother and I don’t even have a boy cousin, but I am so thankful God brought me into that world 7 years ago when you were born. I remember that day like it was yesterday and how my unending, unexplainable love for you was instantaneous. I had never experienced anything like it and I am the world’s luckiest mom to have you as my son.
I am so proud of you and the sweet little man you are becoming. Okay, so you’re not so little and my physical attempts to push your head back down into your body to try and shrink you back down to my little, chubby, baby boy are not working, but I at least try. I love your creativity, your fun ideas, your heart towards others, your thoughtfulness, your funny jokes, your wild dance moves, your excitement for the little things and your eagerness to surprise and give people gifts!
You are such a good boy, Brody. I hope you have the happiest birthday as we go out to celebrate and do all the things you’ve been looking forward to. I love you more, and more, and even more than you say you love me and that’s a challenge I’ll never give up on having with you!
I want you to learn and hide this verse in your heart this year – “Fear not, for I am with you.” Isaiah 43:5.
Happy, happy 7th birthday, Brody James!
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